Wixer, I am impressed with your command of the Polish language and at the same time feel sorry hearing
of your Father's death. Passing away of one's father is probably one of the toughest milestones in man's life.
I believe it is virtually impossible to ultimatelly fully come to terms with it.
As far as Seraph's make over is concerned, I have a minor issue with the word "Próżnie". Even though
it sounds kind of natural to me, it is not listed in Słownik Języka Polskiego. Personally I would not be alarmed
seeing it in a poem, but would rather associate it with the noun "próżność" which I feel would be out of context here.
I suggest using "Próżno" instead, which is a shorthand of "na próżno" (See SJP
http://www.pwn.pl/)