... perfect for putting into a signature

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

The Force is like Duct Tape - it has a dark side, it has a light side, and it binds the universe together!



And my personal favourite

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

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