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PostNapisane: 2005-05-12, 21:31 
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Dołączył(a): 2004-03-22, 22:38
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42 ways to get electric power from hamsters
(Some of them, the less cruel ones... ;) )

1. Stick copper and zinc electrode-needles in opposite ends of hamster.
Use in series for higher voltage. -gwh

2. Shove them back and forth in Richard Gere's butt. Creates static

3. Go to Radio Chack and offer them the hamster in exchange for two AAA

4. Attach the hamster to a hand-crank generator and then drop it onto a

5. Ignite in large numbers. Use heat released to drive steam turbine.

6. Kidnap and threaten to torture. Extort ransom from animal-rights activists
and other anti-cruelty types: demand payment in the form of electric

8. Drop large numbers of hamsters into tar pit, wait a few million years,
drill for crude oil at same location to run electric turbine.

14. Seal large quantity of hamsters in air tight holding tanks. Add
water. Allow suitable time to pass for decomposition. Collect
methane gas resulting. Put gas in fuel cells.

16. Give hamsters lots of shitty beer. Use piss and vomit to run
hydroelectric generator.

17. Skin hamster. Melt animal fat into tallow and then form candles.
Heat steam turbine.

23. Raid PG&E corporate headquarters. Threaten to drop hamster down
CEO's pants unless he gives you a power plant. -gwh

25. (This is, undoubtedly, the way to get the most power from them)
Combine the hamster with an equal mass of antimatter -- a anti-hamster
if you will. Then harness the massive energy release for power....

26. Have the Emperor warp and twist a hamster clone into an evil Anti-Hamster,
Darth Hamster. This should be good for 4-6 sequels. Install tension to
electricity converters into theatre. -gwh

28. Mail the electric company a dead hamster every day until they give you
power for free.

30. Give the hamster to Scotty, he'll find some way to yeild 20% more power
from the dilithium crystals.

31. Take thousands of hamsters into orbit -- when the orbit decays, they will
heat up the atmosphere. With enough hamsters, you could raise the
planets temperature as much as you want.

33. Emmass enormous quantities of hamsters until it reaches enough mass to
begin hamsterfusion in the core. Use solar cells to convert radioation
to electricity. - seano

34. Throw in more hamsters to 33 (above) until the hamsterstar goes
supernova... you couldn't want any more energy than that...

37. Give them little magnetic collars, and run them through a maze of coiled

All the 42 ways you can find here.

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