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PostNapisane: 2005-02-15, 21:41 

Dołączył(a): 2005-02-10, 23:52
Posty: 11
Lokalizacja: zduńska wola
może to znacie, ale ja to przeczytałem niedawno..:)

Save the dead rabbit
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.
A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. " I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it".
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to life , jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned,waved, and hopped another 50 feet. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in ur spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: " 'Hare Spray' ! Restores life to dead hare! Adds Permanent Wave! "

"lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. but it's better if you do" Natalie Portman in "Closer"

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PostNapisane: 2005-02-15, 21:48 

Dołączył(a): 2005-01-24, 18:59
Posty: 122
Lokalizacja: Zielona Góra
I don't know about the rabbit, but the woman must have been blonde. Speaking of which...

Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.

"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

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PostNapisane: 2005-02-16, 14:19 

Dołączył(a): 2004-10-07, 18:02
Posty: 818
Lokalizacja: gdansk
Oh those blondes...

" ...A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.
He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asks what size curtains she needs.
The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches? " asks the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have curtains!"
The blonde says, "Hellllooooooooo...I've got Windows!"

:D :wink:

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